Top 5 Things Kids Today Do That Piss Me Off

I’m not a grandfather, nowhere close to a mid-life crisis, hell I haven’t even touched my 30’s yet. That being said, there are some things that kids today say/do that straight up piss me off. Call me old fashioned (or old at heart, whatever) but the stuff that kids today are doing and saying is borderline retarded. I know my parents are probably going to read this and tell me this is how they felt about everything I did growing up, but fuck it. It’s annoying, and someone has to bring this nonsense to the forefront.

#1: Tight ClothesTight Clothes

What ever happened to everyone wanting to have baggy and loose clothes? Since when is it socially acceptable to wear clothes tight enough to see the pulse of the person wearing it? If kids wore clothes that were any tighter, they’d have to paint their wardrobe on. Walking like a stiff isn’t attractive; neither is looking like you don’t know what size you wear. If it were up to me, the only people that would be able to wear tight clothes is fat people, and that’s probably because the clothes that they have on USED to fit them at some point. Do yourselves (and guys, your balls) a favor and loosen up, starting with your shirt.

#2: VocabularyVocab

I know I know, every generation and/or group of people has a different vocab as the times past, but jeez. Some of the words that are said nowadays originate from sheer laziness and stupidity. “Thot” apparently means a chick who’s a whore, and obviously something that the person who created the word forgot to do. “Fleek” is another one that needs to stop. Sounds like a Spanish person saying flick. Yolo, swag, L-O-L, or any of those acronyms that you choose to use need to all be put into a box and set on fire. Speak proper fucking English, you fools. The only word I approve of is “twerk”, because, come on. Gotta love twerking.

#3: Selfies/Pointless PicturesSelfie

Guilty of it on Snapchat, but besides that, I don’t really see the need in having to take a selfie with everything and everyone that you encounter. You have a cool dog? Awesome. I don’t think Sparky needs to take a picture with your face smudged against his to prove that you were with him. You’re stuck in traffic? Great! Suffer like the rest of us. Another annoyance is the need for everyone to be a photographer. The sky turns pink and everyone decides to let the world know. Try sticking your head out the window, maybe that’ll show ya. ER MER GERD! A RERNBOW! Let me show everyone! Shut up. Take a selfie of you jumping off a bridge, you’re guaranteed at least one like!

#4: Lack of Interpersonal CommunicationIC

Ah, nothing like getting together with some friends, cracking open some beers, and…sitting in a circle while everyone’s on their phones. What happened to shooting the shit? It inevitably became texting the turd apparently. My friends and I are guilty of it at times, but we catch ourselves and actually engage in a vocal conversation. I’ve legit seen kids sit in circles for hours on end not saying anything until they have a post or picture they wanted to show a buddy. Here’s a game everyone can play called “Pretend you’re in the 90’s”: lose the cell phone, go outside and get into a little bit of trouble. If that’s not your cup of tea, sit around a campfire with some brews, play some music, and enjoy your surroundings that aren’t being shown in an iPhone.

#5: MusicRapper

This is going to sound cliché, but the music today sucks. Unlike a lot of kids, I enjoyed my parents music. Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Beetles, James Taylor, that type of stuff was MUSIC. Not a fan of the old school? Fine. B.I.G, Nas, Rakim, Lauren Hill, Red Hot Chili Peppers, THAT’S MUSIC. None of this Migos mumbling, Future fuck boy bullshit. I can’t listen to the noise on the radio. I’d much rather listen to the static from the station I can’t get than “The Hills” by The Weeknd every 5 minutes. Remember: music is made with instruments and vocals (with the acceptation of rap, since their instrumentals are constructed via computer). Please, if you’re trying to make music, study the greats, not the fools that are out today. Not saying that all music today is bad, but a big majority of it sucks ass and makes me wish I had Helen Keller’s sense of hearing.

All of the above things are annoying to me and I’m sure a few of you. Granted, we do participate in some of these topics from time to time, but only to understand the youth as well as be “hip” to what’s going on today. Jeez I sound old, but hey. I have morals and values, and some of the things that are going on today go against some of them. Now if you excuse me, my record is skipping and I need to finish up this RC Cola.

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