She’s a Man, Baby! Drug Trafficker Tries to Escape Prison Dressed as Elderly Woman

Old Woman2

Halloween is among us, and there’s nothing better than picking out a costume that will shock or awe anyone who catches a glimpse. Some go for the funny approach and dress up as a turd or a funny entertainment celebrity. Others go for the scary and dress as Scream or a monster (or for the less attractive, no costume at all). I’m not sure if they celebrate Halloween in Brazil, but one of the Coronel Odenir Guimaraes Prision inmates thought it would be a good idea to dress up. The only thing is, he wasn’t going trick or treating.

Clodoaldo Antonio Felipe (say that name five times fast) wanted to find a way to get out of prison. After some elaborate planning and a little help from the outside, he was able to get a dress and a Hollywood quality mask of an elderly woman into the prison. His plan was to dress up as a grandmother and attempt to escape from prison overlooked. That or he just wanted to show how he really feels inside.

His plan seemed to be working, until prison guards started questioning how a woman was able to get into the prison unnoticed and without any ID. It was also noted that the woman’s height was a little too tall for her to go unseen. After female officers searched the “woman”, they realized she was looking like Ray Finkle in the panties.

Clodoaldo, my man, you really didn’t think this one out, did you? If you’re in a male populated prison, chances are that a six foot elderly woman would stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe for Halloween you should’ve been an elderly dude, unless you just wanted to find a reason to wear that dress. I’ve heard a thing or two about jail, but I guess it’s safe to say that you were really someone’s bitch. Kudos to you getting that stuff into jail, but pulling a Mrs. Doubtfire isn’t going to get you out. Best way to get ou of jail without being caught? Serve the time you’re given, there’s a reason you’re in there.

I think that Clodoaldo is using this whole “escape from jail” thing to really hide the fact that he feels like a natural woman (shout out to Aretha). Regardless, I wish that they had a picture of what he looked like with his mask on. I bet that he was a ghoulish woman, and smelled like must. He definitely has poor choice in wardrobe too. After this stunt, I hope that you actually end up with a grandmother by having your teeth knocked out for trying to do something so stupid. Next time, try this as a disguise:

Mrs. Doubtfire

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