I’ve seen a good amount of rookie maneuvers in my life when it comes to partying. Kids getting so wasted they piss themselves, pass out in lawns, or think that water is vodka when I try to help them sober up. If you haven’t noticed yet, none of these negative consequences come from pot. The worst thing I’ve ever seen pot do is put someone to sleep, or they laugh too hard and get a migraine. Overall, smoking weed can’t be too bad, right? Well, for most potheads it’s no big deal, but one kid in Ohio would beg to differ, that is, if he can get off the ground.
On October 2nd, police in Youngstown, Ohio were called to a house by a young man who claimed that he got waaayyyy too baked smoking marijuana. When the Austintown Township Police arrived to the house, they found the 22-year-old curled into the fetal position on the floor, groaning in pain while being surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies. The man was quoted in saying he couldn’t feel his hands. Officers later found a jar of pot and paraphernalia in his car after he gave them his keys. The man hasn’t seen any medical treatment or been charged with a crime.
Whoa, man! This guy legit called the cops on himself because he had a serious case of the munchies. Way to make stoners look bad, dude. Let me give you some advice: if you’re ever too stoned again, TAKE A NAP! Problem solved. Either that, or ask the cops to talk to Sampson, the’ll know the deal. You really think the reason you were in pain was because you were too high? Maybe the combination of Goldfish, Chips Ahoy and Doritos had something to do with it. You probably drink milk shakes with your Big Mac’s too, huh? It wasn’t the weed, it was the feed.
Also, you said you couldn’t feel your hands? C’mon son. Somewhere in America, Slater from Dazed and Confused is shaking his head at you. Shit, Shaggy’s so stoned, he’s been talking to a dog for 46 years! You, my friend, should buy an e-cig and stick to the minor leagues. Leave the big boy weed to the ones who can handle it. Now in the words of Bob Marley, “Excuse me while I light my spliff”.