Lets Go (Insert Winning Team Here)
Ah, October. Time for women to unpack the UGG boots, buy their pumpkin spice whatevers, and heat up those leggings. It’s also time for us guys to get the Man Cave’s ready for the prime time of the sports season. NFL is a quarter of the way done, MLB is headed into playoff mode, and both the NBA and NHL seasons are just around the corner. That being said: sadly this is also time for another season to start up. One that, in my opinion, annoys me to the core as a fan of all sports. I’m talking about the season of band wagon fans.
If there’s one thing out of all things associated with any sports, band wagon fans are by far the MOST annoying thing to ever witness. Being a Rangers fan, I have sat through season after season of being the laughing-stock of the NHL, mainly because we pick up the superstars of yesterday and have them retire wearing a Broadway Blueshirt. Once we got smart and changed up how we ran things, we got good! Unfortunately, with winning seasons comes Joe Shmoe from Alamo with his fresh 2014 Eastern Conference Final shirt claiming he’s been a Ranger fan “since we won the cup in 94” (Tip: anyone can tell you the last time the Rangers won the Stanley Cup). Want to put Joe in his place? Ask him to tell you the starting line up. If he stutters, he’s a phony.
Congratulations Mets! You get to play baseball longer than you have since the last time you made the playoffs (2006). Seeing as your tickets are less expensive than Yankee Stadium, better believe that means you get to fill ShitiField with a bunch of front-runners who probably don’t know what sport they’re watching! To the true Mets fans: sorry. You think this is bad? Try having this happen year after year being a Yankee fan. We all know that you guys need all the fans you can get, so have fun cheering with Bob from accounting who only went to the game because “the tickets were free”.
Patriots fans are the best. I love how loyal they are to their team, despite all the negativity that they have been getting from deflated balls, stealing play signals, or taping opposing teams. You can tell a true Pat’s fan by how upset they get when you bring up any of these topics and justify them as the only way they’ve been so successful (trust me, I know). If the Patriot’s “fan” that you’re arguing this point with seemingly goes along with it, you’re better off talking to a cardboard cutout of Brady. The cutout would have more knowledge and more love for the team than the loser whose price tag is still on his jersey.
LJBA (LeBron James basketball Association) is full of band wagon fans. Knicks fans saw this when they first picked up Carmelo Anthony, only to be let down like when your uncle always promised to take you to Disneyland and never did. It seems that the going route of the NBA band wagon is wherever LeBron has his residency in. I saw people claim they like Cleveland from 03-10, then say that they liked the Heat from 10-14, then go back to saying they like Cleveland. You’re not a team fan: you’re a LeBron James fan/dick rider. Again, to all the true fans of either team, I feel your pain. These people should bury their heads in sand and just come to the realization that they aren’t a fan of either team, but would rather be the peasant fans of whoever King James plays for.
I’m sure the same works in soccer, but that’s a sport that I’m not too familiar about. To sum it up, doesn’t matter what sport you enjoy watching, or what team you cheer for: there will always be a Benedict Arnold among the true fans. As long as you stay true to your team, I respect you as a fan. If you jump ship when shit hits the fan and join the flock of followers, you deserve to drown. I hope every band wagon hops on the same route off a cliff per way of the O’Doyle family.